a + b = no more
a year ago last april, my job sent me to california to visit with a vendor. in addition to developing a fondness for the west coast, i met B. B worked for the vendor in question, and we hit it off almost instantly. after i returned to denver, B and i stayed in touch and, shortly thereafter, told me that he and his wife A were quitting their jobs and moving to japan for a year. oddly enough, one of the first conversations that B and i had was about my fondness for asian women. it was a conversation in passing, and i’m not even sure how it came up. after he told me of their plans, he invited me to visit them if i could swing it, saying something about there being a lot of asian girls in japan. the way the statement was worded, i thought it was just a nice comment to say because of our previous conversation; i really didn’t think he was serious.
so A and B left for the land of the rising sun. we still e-mailed occasionally, and chatted on instant messenger at least once a week. somewhere during the summer, he kept hinting more and more for me to visit them. at first, i laughed. sure, i’d love to, i would say. by the end of the summer, it seemed less like a joke. we actually started talking about dates they had available, and dates that worked with my school schedule. what started as a passing, casual invitation turned into a round trip ticket to tokyo, and themonnerator spending 8 days in japan.
i had not yet me A. my introduction to her was a map that they had on their website. she did the map (which i wish i could find, because it was as accurate as it was funny) and some comments. i would later tell her that the first time i read the instructions, it scared me. the instructions basically said something to the effect of “you’d better learn this map, because we aren’t going to be with you the whole time. if you can’t figure it out, take a damn taxi.” as you can see, that comes across as rather, um, direct. to get on her good side, i asked B what i could bring that they missed from the states. he gave me a few ideas, so i went shopping, packed my bags, and got on a flight to san francisco and then on to tokyo.
i landed in tokyo and took the bus to the district where A & B were living. B met me at the hotel there, and we took a taxi to their place (it was pouring rain; damn typhoon season). out of the taxi, up the stairs, and into their apartment, i met A for the first time. i felt pretty comfortable there right away, though i can’t say if it wasn’t due in some part to my extreme exhaustion from the trans-pacific flight. but we dropped of my bags and headed out for dinner. we talked during the walk, during dinner, and on the way back home. once there, i gave A her gifts, which turned out to be three cans of spam (interesting trying to explain spam to the customs guy in the tokyo airport) and a micrograter. she was so thrilled, and i think just that single act on my part helped to make us friends. the rest of the trip it was like i had known A & B for years; i spent time time with both of them on the trip, and time by myself. as A can attest, i was able to follow her map and was able to venture out on my own, and the instructions on the map turned out to be a funny joke between us.
when i left japan, i was extremely sad. sad because i was leaving a beautiful country and 8 days is not enough time to even explore the airport, but also sad because i was leaving two amazing people who opened their home to me, a practical stranger. i went there not knowing what to expect, and left leaving two friends behind.
i emailed A & B on and off for the next few months. they invited me to thailand with them in february, but i wasn’t able to make it financially. they sent me post cards from their trips, and if you have seen the one on my fridge with the elephants, um, you know, well, that is from A & B. there was talk of a china trip in may, and A casually said that i am invited anywhere they are going, which made me feel extremely lucky to know them.
may rolled around, and i had not heard from A or B in a while, so i shot them an e-mail saying hello and asking how they were. shortly after, i received an e-mail from A:
Sorry about the late reply, but [B] and I are going through a really tough spot right now. As a result, we’ve both become really socially inept, not responding to email, answering phone calls, talking to friends, and so on… I am sure you understand.
the message nearly broke my heart. i sent A an e-mail letting her know that if she or B needed anything, i would do anything for them. i had faith that things would work themselves out. faith is a funny thing…
i received a post card from A this weekend. she went to hawaii, but the tone of the message on the postcard was sad and personal. she ended it by saying that if i was ever in california that i should look her up. her, not them. her. i sent her another e-mail, again expressing my regret and offering anything that i could give. i have not heard back yet.
in working on updating my site, i checked on the links to my friends’ sites that were on my old site. one of them was to A’s site. i visited it today and the site says simply:
We regret to say that [the website] is down indefinitely due to a broken heart. Pandas have feelings too and he stepped all over them.
i am not sure how to end this entry. i am still in shock, even as i read the words again for the hundreth time. when my friends hurt, i hurt, and it hurts more that there is nothing i can do to help. these two amazing people invited me into their home for what turned out to be one of the best trips of my life, and now what i took for granted as a certainty is no longer. A & B, i thought, were as close as their relationship in the alphabet; side by side, one right after the other (A in front, of course).
now A & B are no more.